Forever Holding Her Peace
by sinfullysarcastic
Summary: 'But she didn't stand up. And she swears to god, it's the one thing she regrets for the rest of her life. Because she watched Eddie Miller, the one guy she ever loved, marry another girl, and she had just sat there. She hadn't done a single damn thing.' Peddie. For MusicalWheaten because it's her birthday! Happy Birthday! Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis.**

**This is for MusicalWheaten! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! If you haven't read her fanfics or checked out her videos on youtube- though I bet everyone has- go do it now because she's amazing! And wish her a happy birthday too! I hope you like this, MusicalWheaten! :)**

**And ha ha it's angst because that's like all I'm capable of writing these days.**

"P-Patricia," Joy stutters out, looking confused and surprised as she looks one of her old best friends in the eye. They haven't talked in years, but Joy can still recognize her in a heartbeat. It's something in the stiff walk she has, something in the dark dress, something in her pained expression. "I didn't expect to…" she trails off, scratching the back of her neck and looking around awkwardly. It's weird to tell Patricia what she already knows: that they're at _his _wedding.

"To see me here?" Patricia finishes, smiling grimly, ruefully, before looking around. "Yeah. I didn't expect to come either."

"You were invited?" Joy raises an eyebrow, a million theories running through her head, a million questions on the tip of her tongue.

"Yeah," Patricia gives a bitter chuckle. "I'm guessing she looked through old yearbooks or something? Eddie would've never invited me."

Joy nods sympathetically- she knows Patricia and Eddie had a messy breakup a couple years back, but neither had given details and she hadn't pried. In fact, _nobody _knew why they broke up, and every one of their friends had even expected them to get back together. It was what they usually did- they got into a huge fight and blew things out of proportion, then made up a couple weeks later with passionate snogging sessions.

It had been that way since high school- everyone had thought it would be that way forever.

But now Joy's sitting in one of the pews of a church next to her old best friend, waiting for everyone to filter in, waiting for the ceremony to start. Eddie's already at the altar, but he hasn't seemed to notice Patricia yet, and she's been avoiding his eyes for quite a while. She never thought this day would come, never thought she'd be sitting in one of the pews at Eddie's wedding. Patricia had always hoped she would've been walking towards him. It was a girlish fantasy and she should've known better than to believe in it, but she had. And then somewhere along the way, they had messed everything up and the fantasy was all she had left. Now, even that was being wiped away, because soon his bride would walk down the aisle in a sure to be amazing dress, and Eddie would watch the girl with pure love in his eyes, and Patricia would feel herself diminish, getting smaller every second.

"Hey, Joy," Jerome slides in on the other side of Joy, saving the two old best friends from awkward conversations and long stretches of silence. It seems to be a minute later that he recognizes Patricia, and his eyes widen.

"Hey, slime ball," Patricia greets, smiling slightly. Jerome doesn't seem fazed at the nickname, and blinks as if he's not sure that she's really there.

"Patricia…I haven't seen you in a while," he straightens his tie before glancing towards Edison. "Tell me, does Edison know you're here?" Joy hisses his name and something about insensitivity, but Jerome's focused on Patricia right now, who scowls at him.

"I didn't _sneak in_, if that's what you're thinking," Patricia rolls her eyes. "I was invited, I came. Why are you making it such a big deal?"

There's an obvious answer to the question, but Joy elbows Jerome and he lapses into silence. Minutes later, the music starts, and people begin walking down the aisle- pretty bridesmaids with guys hooked to their arms, little children throwing around flower petals. Everyone rises as _she _arrives, eyes looking suspiciously teary, latched onto her father's arm.

Patricia stiffens at the sight, feeling the tears collect in the corners of her eyes but never slide down. Because she's already made such a big deal that she doesn't care, and if she starts crying now, then all her efforts would be a waste. Besides, she can _feel _Joy's eyes on her, even though they're all supposed to be watching the wedding, where the bride has reached the altar.

Maybe it hasn't truly hit her until now- that this is it, Eddie is _really _going to get married, that this is the end of Patricia&Eddie and now there's no more chances left.

"Speak now, or forever hold your peace."

All eyes dart to her and she wants to stand up and say she has a problem with it, wants to be bold like she was way back when and run off with the guy like countless songs and books and movies have told her she would do. She wants to tell Eddie how much he means to her, wants to let him know that she never _truly _got over him.

But he just looks _so _happy.

_So _heartbreakingly happy without her.

Who is she to ruin that, to stand up and conflict his feelings, to shame the bride and to wreck the wedding? Patricia's just an old ex to him, somebody he used to date, somebody he used to look at the way he now looks at his bride.

Eddie's eyes wander around the room, as if simply _daring _somebody to object, watching, waiting.

His eyes land on hers.

She gulps and brushes her hair back as the tense silence continues. Eddie's eyes widen in surprise and he looks as if he wants to fire a million questions at her, just like Joy, just like Jerome, but he _can't_, of course. And she's thinking that _maybe_, maybe she really should stand up- he already knows she's there, what's the harm in announcing her presence to the entire room? Would she really want to just let this go, want to just give him up like this?

But the moment's over.

The 'I do's' are being exchanged and Eddie's eyes are ripped away from her fast, too fast. Joy's eyes are on her instead, looking concerned, but Patricia stares straight ahead, braving through the way they both lean in, the way Eddie dips the other girl slightly as they kiss. The way there are tears pricking at the corners of her eyes and how one of them is sliding down until it finally plops on her dress, making it the first sign of emotion she's shown all day. Joy whispers a quiet _Trish _from beside her as everyone else cheers, and Patricia sniffles slightly, glad the crowd drowns her out.

It was stupid to come- in all honesty, she hadn't even known why she had decided to. She knew ever since she got the invitation that coming to this wedding would only bring her pain.

But as usual, she couldn't handle _not knowing_. Being in the dark, thinking for years how it all happened. And sure, the thought that she _could _stand up and she _could _stop the wedding had entered her mind in the month after receiving the invitation. But back then, it hadn't seemed real, that Patricia could just call the whole thing off; that she could stand up in front of everybody and profess her love like one of those clichés.

And once more, she had overthought the whole thing and not even objected when the time was right.

She had watched the only guy she had ever loved just get married.

And she hadn't done a single damn thing about it.

* * *

"You came."

It's not a question, it's a statement, but there's a tinge of disbelief to it and Patricia sighs. She had almost ditched the reception before realizing she was hungry as hell and besides, it would be a good way to catch up with her old friends. And she had in a way. Everyone had been careful around her though, and it had quickly become annoying. So when they all began filing onto the dance floor, she stayed behind at her table.

"Yeah," she mutters, avoiding his eyes but hearing the sound of one of the chairs get pushed back, hearing him sit down in it with a sigh. Everyone else is dancing and Patricia's left vaguely wondering how exactly Eddie managed to get away, considering _he's_ the one whojust got married, but she dismisses it soon enough, straightening her silverware to keep her busy, to distract herself. "Congrats."

"Thanks," he mumbles before sliding a drink her way. Patricia stares at the glass before looking back up at Eddie, who's taking small sips from his own cup, watching her intently. She takes a cautious sip before setting it back down. "I didn't think she'd invite you," Eddie admits, drumming his fingers on the table before scrunching up his face. "No, wait, scratch that. I didn't think you'd come."

"What, you honestly think I'm not over you yet?" Patricia rolls her eyes as if it's a silly notion, but it strikes too close to home and the way Eddie watches her proves he knows it. "Because I _am_. Over you, I mean. I couldn't care less, really." She shrugs and the two fall into an awkward silence, Patricia wanting to leave and Eddie wanting to say something but not sure what.

"Maybe I've heard that stupid Taylor Swift song too many times or something," Eddie says slowly, and she stiffens, because she knows exactly what song he's talking about. It's one they used to make fun of and just hours ago they had come close to living it. "But I kind of thought…you would…_never mind_." He lets out a long breath and runs a hand through his hair.

"You thought I would stand up," Patricia murmurs, taking another sip of her drink. Eddie doesn't have to voice his confirmation for her to know that she had read his thoughts. A silence falls between them once more, the dull echo of pounding, mindless, popular music filling their ears. She looks up in surprise, "You don't like this kind of music."

"It grows on you," he shrugs. "And besides...I wanted to make her happy. I love her."

_Why _had she thought coming here would be a good idea again?

He seems to realize what he just told his ex and looks down, "Sorry."

"It's fine," she swallows painfully before rolling her eyes. "Over you, remember?" Eddie clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth and takes another sip of his drink. He's nearing the bottom of his glass and Patricia's already made her decision. She's never been one for dancing, so when this conversation finishes, she'll just go home. Maybe even wallow in self-pity or drown herself in _Sick Puppies _music.

"Hey, Eddie?" she asks carefully, quietly, curiously. He looks up and raises an eyebrow, and she takes a deep breath before continuing. What she was about to say was probably going to ruin everything between them, but she couldn't help it, she had to ask. "If I _had_- not that I wanted to, of course, I'm over you- but if I _had _stood up when he said speak now…what would've happened?"

He was married.

The first words out of his mouth _should _be _I would never leave her for you_.

But there's a long stretch of silence and Patricia feels her breath come out in shallow rasps as she awaits his answer. Because obviously he shouldn't even be considering the possibilities, right? He's _married_ now.

"I don't know what would've happened," Eddie finally confesses, setting his now empty glass down with a sense of finality. "You didn't stand up."

And his chair scrapes back and now he's going back to the dance floor to stand around doing nothing to music he doesn't even like. And Patricia's sitting, frozen, because his words are so simple, so painfully obvious.

_She didn't stand up._

She used to have a chance; she could've stopped the wedding; could've shamed the bride; could've run off like some fairytale cliché if she had just gotten the goddamn courage to stand up.

But she _didn't _stand up.

And she swears to god, it's the one thing she regrets for the rest of her life.

Because she watched Eddie Miller, the one guy she ever loved, marry another girl, and she had just _sat _there.

She hadn't done a single damn thing.

**Happy Birthday, MusicalWheaten! I hope you have a good one!**


End file.
